YOU'VE GOT STRACHES ON YOUR ARMS

This weekend i went to visit some cousins and we adventured off to London, yes again i know, ended up spending most of our day in Camden Town. I got three new bracelets and two rings. I could've spent a week there, all the little things were so pretttttttty. Anywho, on the day i came home, a load of family were over as my uncle came to visit all the way from Canada. It was nice to see him, reminded me again of one of my greatest holidays when i went to visit his family in Montreal. God this is so boring. What i really want to say is how much i hate how people, living together for so long forget that the people around them have feelings, just because they're/we're used to them it's fine to treat people like they know nothing. I hate it. It makes me sick sick sick to the point i'm repulsed by everyone and i know i shouldn't be. I know i shouldn't constantly focus on your defects, i don't know why i search for them but you make me so angry sometimes. I need to get out

HANG ON TO YOURSELF

This summer has taught me that i have a difficult time with being alone. However i am beginning to love myself and channel my thoughts into creativity. I still mistake happiness as a possibility only when in the presence of others and i feel like a hypocrite because i told so many not to depend on others for happiness otherwise you'll never be able to
depend on your own two feet. How could i have been so blind?  I neglected myself and i'm not sure if i'll ever be able to forgive myself for that. I've realised how important it is for humans to be happy with who they really are and not who society conditions them into being. I see so many people lost with themselves, they go on everyday acting in their life, pretending to be what they truthfully are not. I guess i should be grateful that i know who i really am, even if i don't always pursue that person but i've made a promise to myself- Be true to who you are, it is the only REAL way of being.

In the fields of art we can do whatever we like

For so long i was convinced of my inability to nap but after a good six months of non stop revision i found that it was in fact an ability of mine. I've just woken up from a twenty minute or so power nap and feeling so refreshed, although, my window is fully open so that could be the result of an evening breeze. Before indulging in my new found ability i was reading "Crime and Punishment" by the great Fyodor Dostoyvesky, i'm only 5 or so chapters into the book and i'm already absorbed in- usually takes me a lot longer to become interested in the plot. The mind of Rodya intrigues me very much.

Last weekend my friend Angela and I  took a coach into the big L, yes London and made our way to Victoria park to attend Field Day. The whole trip was perfect and so so enjoyable. On the journey there Angela and I had great discussions and debates, i desire them ever so greatly now, i'm so eager to understand this place that can feel so alien to me at times and it was really, really nice to have good company and talk about real things. I know it's not for everyone or acceptable talk for majority of the time but travelling via coach and train seem like perfect places to me to discuss our impossible thoughts, it's like for a certain period of time we're forced to stop and identify ourselves because there is nothing else we can do at times like that. The festival was brilliant. I got to see my beloved Willy Mason and James Blake and that'll keep my heart at peace for a very long time. James Blake was actually incredible, i was in such a complete trance during his performance. Angela and I got a little to excited in the whole day and ended up taking a wrong turning on the way out, making ourselves rather late and ended up missing our coach back, which was the last one going back, so basically we had to excite ourselves with the idea of staying in L all night as we couldn't afford to get back home. At about two AM or so my wonderful, wonderful cousin Leena came and picked us up so we had a place to sleep, i will never forget her kindness to Anegla and I that night. Eventually some time close to night we arrived back home the next day. It was great.