I'm feeling much more like my usual self, not fully there yet and i don't think i will be until the 17th December when my parents and my brother come pick me up and take me home.
I'm just a little exhusted and want to be in the safety and comfort of my family and friends at home.
The next 3 days i plan to revise for my exam and although all i want right now is to be at home, i'm really looking forward to absorbing myself in this assessment. Today in tutor, we were made to think about our futures and share our ambitions with the class. I haven't thought about it in a long time, the last time i thought about my career, a sudden mass of hopelessness overpowered me.... My ambition felt far away and unachievable but after discussing it today, i've realised that i really do want to be a Clinical Psychologist specialised in children. I want to help others and the child mind fascinates me. I also found out i can get where i want to be minus 3 years of studying that i thought was required. However, the position i want is competitive and i have to start building up my CV now. When i go home i'm going to do some more research and find ways in which i can make this happen. Psychology is definitely right for me, it was starting to feel like a chore but i realised (again) how passionate and interested i am in others, i care for humans and want to continue to study them. Study them not half heartedly but wholly. I need to put myself fully into my studies. I think i've been a little distracted and too fucused on the whole making friends thing, which is important don't get me wrong but it has been tiring and distracting. I need some me time, to focus on myself, i need to be more independent. There's a lot of improvements i want to make about my life and myself and seeing as it's nearly the new year i'm going to spend a lot of time thinking about my goals. I lose myself sometimes, well a lot of the time actually. I'm so tired.
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